I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
