Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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