Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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