she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize