I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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