we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Your cock deserves a montage
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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