I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Houston, we have a blender
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize