I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
