Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
