I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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