OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We had to coat check the pizza.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
