oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
