the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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