wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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