He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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