youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize