Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
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That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
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this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize