Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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