I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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