Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
