I'm drive I can fine osifer
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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