Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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