I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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