i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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