so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
