Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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