they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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