My hair reeks of homosexuality.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
