it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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