I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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