2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think I died a long time ago.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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