What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
