Cold hands, warm shart.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
