3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize