did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
