You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
