Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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