She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
