Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I will pee on everything he values.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
