Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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