He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
