This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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