So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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