i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
