i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
