I just pynch a tree in the face
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hippo gnu deer
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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