just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
