Do you still have your period?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
