I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize