I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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