I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
