That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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