Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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