Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
