We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
