i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
