your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
