The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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