Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
