I can't breathe out the right side of my face
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
