I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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