I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
and you fell through a lawn chair
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