She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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