Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
