is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
