My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
MIDGETS
????
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
