And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
